


Knife monopoly

by Liz_The_Brit



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, but they respawn, idk how i ended up with 3k words of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_The_Brit/pseuds/Liz_The_Brit
Summary: “you seemingly lost judgment and decided to play the deadliest game”And then it clicked.A seed of calmness radiated through the suffocating anxiety and fear.“Oh.” Tubbo had realised now, why hadn't schlatt said earlier? “I understand…”“Glad to see we're all on the same page here then-” came the smug reply“knife monopoly” tubbo mumbled with the most serious look Schlatt had seen on the boy. One of pure understanding.-------------------------------------------aka ive had a draft of this since the festival that happened like *checks calander* uhhh 3 months ago.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 157





	Knife monopoly

**Author's Note:**

> Seems pretty serious but don't worry it isn't meant to be. I just got sidetracked with actual character thoughts that happen to be kinda angsty, also ik the festival happened months ago.

Tubbo was scared.

The entire day has his mind running unchecked, apparent mistakes slipping through, from looking a bit too nervous when someone mentioned bombs or the members of pogtopia, to fully leaving the main festivities to go meet up with his allies providing no good excuse. 

Whatever it was, tubbo had let something slip and now he was paying the price for it.

Simply put he was stuck in a box.

This wouldn't be too alarming if not on for the fact he was trapped purposely. On top of a stage that could only be described as evil and by a man who he thought he had fooled into trust. 

And when said man is a tyrannical dictator letting out a very concerning laugh, well that sort of thing happens to have a very foreboding message that screams danger. 

Tubbo was scared of Schlatt.

Sure he’d been scared of schlatt before but now was different, the danger was always pointed to other people.

Sure he'd been scared for wilbur and tommy when they were banished, he was scared for quackity when he heard shouting coming from the office next door to his room in white house, he was scared for fundy when he heard the smashing of bottles or when niki was sent to jail and the list goes on.

But he’d never been scared of what might happen to him, always careful to stay on the good side of schlatt.

Don't anger him, don't go against him, do anything to gain trust, do anything to not make him think that you're a spy.

So what if he got called a ‘yes man’ it kept him safe and alive didn't it?

So now that the danger was directed at him he felt terror.

The paralysing kind that made his legs quake and if not for his hands now turned white clutching to the bars before him, well tubbo was unsure if he’d still be standing.

All as he boasted a speech to the audience about how funny it was that tubbo was in this situation while still keeping an air of tension, he could only let out a measly plea.

“Schlatt? Schlatt what is this?” all while trying to poke his head out over the top of the bars of his cramped cell to look at the horned man before him. Then over to the vice, quackity, looking eagre as ever. 

Then to the crowd of citizens who were letting out their own cries of concern as though tubbo didn't fill that quota himself.

And finally his gaze rested on Tommy, who looked like he was about to vomit, his face pale and eyes wide, meanwhile wilbur was nowhere in sight.

That's who he was doing this for in the end, not because Schlatt was a tyrannical ruler who needed to be stopped, that was background noise.

It was because of Tommy.

if he hadn't been exiled then who knows it tubbo would have gone against the president like this. In the end he just wanted his best friend back and if that meant toppling the government to do so then so be it. 

And even then he wasn't doubting Tommy's abilities to take care of himself, no he was certain that part was fine, it was the company. 

Right now Tubbo could honestly say that he would rather be under schlatts control than wilburs manipulation.

He’d spoken to the man, he had clearly gone crazy, a few too many gears knocked loose as he was kicked out of his own country.

So tubbo was scared of what wilbur would do.

Staring at Tommy let his mind wander to the absence of said crazy man, he had said the key phrase, but with him trapped he was scared of if wilbur got to the button and he would be caught in the crossfire and feel the fiery death only tnt provided, watching as people ran from the explosions, given time to escape. 

He’d be a goner though, stuck in place.

Would it be better than whatever schlatt had lined up for him?

And then he was pulled back, back from his mile a minute mind to see the horned man himself staring at him with a twisted look in his eye.

Beneath layers of cheap cologne an even cheaper layer of alcohol powered through as he leaned in a slight bit closer, tubbo was now realising how short he was.  
He was tiny.

From a mix of bad genetics and malnutrition from war rations, he was one of the shorter and thinner people on the server while schlatt was one of the taller.

But being put face to face with the man himself left him practically miniscule.

He stared at him face to face. With the same look he had when he was elected and banished Wilbur and Tommy. A sick joy.

That doesn't bode well.

“Oh tubbo, so naive, this whole thing was a setup. All of your hard work put into this just frankly beautiful festival, just to flip it onto you” each word was slightly slurred, either with anger or drunkenness was unknown “you seemingly lost judgement and decided to play the deadliest game”

And then it clicked.

A seed of calmness radiated through the suffocating anxiety and fear.

“Oh.” Tubbo had realised now, why hadn't schlatt said earlier? “I understand…”

“Glad to see we're all on the same page here then-” came the smug reply

“knife monopoly” tubbo mumbled with the most serious look Schlatt had seen on the boy. One of pure understanding.

And yet he had missed the mark so completely.

What in God's green earth is knife monopoly.

A silence rang out, both on the stand and in the audience.

That had been something that had just taken him completely by surprise. Schlatt didn't prepare for this.

Sure he'd expect pleas and bargaining and well something pitiful and tubbo-like. but acceptance and understanding of something Tubbo had completely misunderstood had halted his thoughts and replaced it with only confusion.

So now the world stood still as they waited for schlatt to stop mentally buffering.

Schlatt knew the boy had a mind that didn't quite work like the rest of them, being around tubbo for more than an hour would prove that and schlatt spent the past few weeks running a country with him.

But still he was simply so baffled by this tubbo moment that all hopes of keeping up the grandiose dissipated into thin fucking air.

In result his plan kinda just fell from his mouth.

“I was actually going to publicly execute you for my own entertainment, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife monopoly is”

And so after everything that had happened it all fell flat and not a quarter of an hour later and under the presidents command tubbo was spared and released with a monopoly board being brought out still in front of a shell shocked crowd.

And still in front of the wide mouthed tommy who had been updated that wilbur couldn't find the button and that no firework shows were happening today. The insane man returning to pogtopia. Probably to throw a tantrum as he’d become more recently prone to.

But Tommy couldn't respond to Wilbur and update him on the situation. Spectating this was far too attention grabbing. He was very familiar with knife monopoly.

Meanwhile techno was herded with the crowd. The dangerous air shifting to become less suffocating.

That didn't calm his nerves though, techno had seen the way schlatt had stared him in the eye earlier, it was a look he recognised. Techno was almost certain he had been two seconds away from being called up there to perform the execution.

He still wasn't sure if he would have followed through or not.

Voices whispering ‘don't kid yourself’ echoed through his brain and well, they were probably right. If it meant he wouldn't get jumped immediately by the manburgians in the crowd, he would kill the undercover ally.

But that didn't matter right now. A different situation had happened and the day might just turn to their favour.

Tubbo was the best knife monopoly player he knew, many a family game night had proven that.

And if schlatt was drunk as well they might actually win this here and now. 

After all, no good game of knife monopoly went without its bets and if Tubbo could get Schlatt to bet his position or country then it would be a win, that's it.

For now though all they could do was watch tubbo. Who was now in less danger than immediate death and so the itch Tommy felt to reach for a pearl and go in guns a blazing had died down.

“Alright kid how’s this thing work?” Schlatt started fairly intrigued with the prospect of the so-called deadliest game. It was monopoly for fucks sake, the quicker he could win this game the sooner he could get back to execution time.

“Well before we begin the rules, we establish the bets. In a game of knife monopoly as high stakes as this you would typically bet your life and something equivalent to it,” tubbo shot back, all nerves practically disappearing, this was his domain. “I’ll start. Obviously I'll bet my life, but also I bet my undying allegiance to you, anything you ask I'll do.”

“Woah there getting serious quick eh?” schaltt will play along then, “what are we counting as equivalent to a life here?”

“Typically anything you'd give your life for, as an example I would do anything to stay loyal to tommy. Even die, something that we just stopped from happening today. For you I'm not sure though. How about, say, the throne of manburg” keep it on the down low, underplay it.

“Yeesh bit of a high asking price isn't it,”

“Well you were about to trade my life to keep your spot there no? Fearing i was going to start a revolution, something that wouldn't be an issue if you won this game and gained my loyalty”

“I guess you're right there” he thought for a few seconds, how sure was he that he would win. 

Wait. What kind of question was that, of course he’d win. He was the Jschlatt. He had to answer quickly. Don't let the kid know you're doubting yourself, i mean tubbo’s what 16? And he can make the split decision to willingly give a life, that's confidence. “...sure why not. I, Jebidiah schlatt, bet the position of marburg ruler and my life”

And with a strong handshake they sat down with a monopoly board between them.

“Okay the rules are that we play monopoly normally,” Tubbo began “You understand how to play that right?”

“Who do you think i am? Of course I've played monopoly.”

“Good, so the major change is with the properties. Every time you purchase one the knife that’s connected to that property is given to you.” So far pretty simple.

“When someone lands on that property they can either choose to pay the rent normally, or have the property owner throw the knife at them from a distance of 20 feet. They can’t dodge. If they get hit they get hit anywhere classed as important ,say for example the head, they then own that property and the knife that comes with it. If they don't get hit anywhere important, like the leg, they have to pay the rent due. If the thrower misses then they also get the property. The person left alive at the end, or with the most properties, wins.” After Tubbo spat the base rules fairly quickly and unintelligibly, Schlatt could say he had a vague idea of how it worked.

For now the strategy seemed to be to buy up all the properties quickly to ensure that he wouldn't need to risk any damages to himself. 

Then the knives were brought out. 

28 community donated knives arranged from smallest to largest. From small vegetable knives to large professional throwing knives. Ah so each property had a different quality level of knife attached. Interesting.

“Okay kid you clearly know what you're getting into so lets start.”

And so it started.

And tubbo didn't buy a single property, what on earth was his plan. 

They had gone around twice now and Tubbo had only landed on one of schlatts properties, at which he looked slightly miffed and paid the normal rent. He was just going around the board as fast as possible stocking up ‘pass go’ money boosts. 

This was getting suspicious.

The game had gone on for almost 40 minutes now with nothing happening, just regular monopoly, except Schlatt had the majority of the properties. Meanwhile tubbo was hopping between the unbought ones like it was no big deal. 

And then something shifted.

Tubbo landed on a red space that belonged to schlatt, finally a victory. But then Tubbo stood up and walked to the 20 feet marker they had placed and spread his arms.

“Let's get this started then, throw it at me”

Alright now it gets interesting. To be completely honest Schlatt had almost forgotten about this part of the game. all he has to do is make sure that he hit a designated ‘unimportant spot’ legs and arms mostly, definitely not the head or centre chest.

The knife was fairly middling so any hit to the important parts wouldn't be a killing blow so they were a fairly unuseful target to go for.

Schlatt stood up, aimed and threw, aiming at Tubbo’s shins. a simple target. The kid wasn't allowed to dodge so it was the best bet.

What he wasn't planning on though was tubbo falling to his knees and putting his heart in the path of the knife.

That caused an uproar, cries from the crowd and people gathering around him, to make sure he was okay. But techno stayed behind not too worried, this was the kid’s winning tactic after all.

They were waved off as Tubbo stood up and pulled the knife out. 

“HEY! I thought we said no dodging kid” That surly had to go against the rules right?

“Nope! This is fine, after all i didnt dodge away i dodged into it!”

That kid is way too chipper for someone who just took a knife to the heart.

And then it dawned on him, this is the kids plan on winning isn't it, willingly taking all the bullets Schlatt threw his way, as long as he lived at the end it was all positives right.

With the first knife thrown tensions had definitely gotten higher, it wasn't a minute later tubbo hit another space. A green space. 

The knife for which was very deadly looking and yet, tubbo stood up. Still covered in the previous hit’s blood and walked away from the table.

This time the crowd was silent, a hit to the head from that was certain death.

So that's where schlatt aimed, a surefire victory. Either he dodges and forfeits or takes it and dies. Win win in schlatt’s eyes. 

So he lined it up, making sure to breathe steady, with this game having sobered him up pretty quickly it was a simple shot.

Thats when tubbo fucking jumped. 

Straight into the air taking a hit straight to the sternum.

Where it stuck with a sickening crunch, it had shattered the main support bone in the kids ribs. Not that it wasn't hard to do but it meant a good deal of pain ,which was evident by the muffled screams and whimpers of pain as he hobbled back to the table, and due to that pain it was deemed as a major injury and the game played on.

Through the next few rounds tubbo took 6 more knives to the chest area of varying size. One that he hadn’t managed to dive into properly and ended up in his thigh. And the real kicker was the 4 he’d taken straight on to the forehead.

Of course those ones had been the small ones, the brown and light blue properties. Left him with more of a scratch than anything, not being able to give enough force to cause any real damage.

The other properties that he was required to own to gain the majority he had picked up naturally, having started buying some up after the first few knife throws. 

Schlatt meanwhile had only taken one knife throw, at which point tubbo with only seeing trough one eye due to the other one being blurred and slightly stuck together with blood, had managed to sloppily hit schlatt by skimming his calf.

It was barely deemed as a hit due to it drawing blood. Schlatt wasn't quite as ready to purposefully put his heart on the line yet. It had been acting up recently and probably wasn't in the best shape to be skewered

Then Tubbo landed on the dark blue space he needed to complete the set and eagerly bought it with the money he had been stockpiling, quickly piling it up with enough houses and finally a hotel that it would be an insta hit kill, dealing a total of 2000 in owed rent. 

Schlatt who had spent his rounds paying the rent instead of taking the knife throws was to put it simply absolutely shitting himself. 

After all it was as though a mine had been planted on the board, he either went bankrupt or risked it all with the knife throw.

Both ways if he landed on that spot it was most likely a game over. Unless tubbo, who to be fair was looking more than a bit ragged, missed. 

It was just bad luck he was there staring it down as though it was some great beast and not some tile on a board.

Schlatt was scared.

He was scared to lose a life, scared to lose his power. This was his punishment for his hubris in taking up the offer instead of staying safe and executing the little shit when he had him cornered, wasn't it.

That was the charm of the deadliest game he supposed. If he made it out of here he was definitely using this in the future.

But right now if he rolled a 6 on the double dice he’d slam right into it.

The crowd held their breath as he rolled and they failed to suppress the cheers as it rolled true. A four on one dice and a two on the other spelled his doom. Even tommy was filled with relief so much that he revealed his position with a grand cry.

“SUCK THAT YOU RAM BITCH!” 

Tubbo meanwhile was simply sitting there with a soft smile and ambitious eyes.

“So schlatt, what’ll it be?” he stared at him dead in the eyes “The knife or forfeiting?”

Schlatt was done with this kid, he came into his country, plotted against him and now was about to end him practically single handedly. 

Who the fuck does he think he is. Hell technoblade was standing rather anxiously in the crowd, with the snap of his fingers he could get the hitman to take this kid out in a second.

This would not be how Jschlatt ends. So help him god.

But Schlatt was a man of his word and if he went against the game after all of this he doubt he’d be known as anything but a sore loser.

So he stood up with a lifted head and he adjusted his tie. A nervous habit. Stood with open arms prepared for the beautiful and deadly knife that was about to find itself planted in his body. 

He looked tubbo in the eye, something, anything to get the kid to falter. But only saw hardened resolve. 

His arm drew back.

The knife was thrown.

And then a thud was heard.

Bullseye.

The long heavy knife designed to sink into heavy tree trunks was embedded 4 inches deep into schlatts heart.

And so the giant fell, he keeled over and coughed harsh and heavy. No one helped when blood splattered on the ground and schlatt began to dissipate in the tell-tale white smoke.

Instead they rushed to tubbo side who had similarly fell upon his victory only to be supported by tommy who had pearled in upon seeing his best friend collapse and members of the crowd ran to go get all the healing or regen pots they could find, while golden apples were supplied by technoblade as a substitute.

Schlatt spent his last moments before respawning furious.

After all that he just handed the throne of marburg to fucking tubbo.

Seeing movement in the corner of his eye he spotted quackity looking apprehensive to approach either side. His vice, his fucking husband was letting him lose one of his true lives alone.

And that was his last thought before he woke in the whitehouse. 

He lost everything to goddamned knife monopoly.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! any kudos and comments are welcome :D


End file.
